oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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