Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
