remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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