I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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