Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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