I bet he comes in French.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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