when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
