Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
