hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
