As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My vagina just recognized that song.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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