Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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