I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
