gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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