His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize