carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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