bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
