Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
