Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Randomize
