My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
