I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
