Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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