Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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