All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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