honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
