You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
