Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
