This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
