We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
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I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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