Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
