you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize