no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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