rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Randomize
