Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
