I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
