6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am available for nakedness
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
