ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
