So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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