I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize