Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
