You're my little dorito
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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