So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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