my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
