My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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