i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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