you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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