it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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