We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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