guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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