$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
