were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
