I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
