As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
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The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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