Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
