Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
