Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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