I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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