honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
