Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He kissed a someone with a penis
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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