What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
