my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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