This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
