she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
