I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
