we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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