Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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