so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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