he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
we should paint friendship bongs
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