I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
