Umm I'm too high to move.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
