It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
